Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Evil Gummi Bears

So, its been a weekend since I have last blogged. I must admit, tho I was camping with some fun, drunken,  people at their hunting camp (where there is always epic amounts of fattening food), I pretty much stuck to my goals. I may have stretched them a bit, BUT I did not consume insane amounts of sugar and fat! Go me! Drank gallons of water, no sugar, tiny bit of dairy only because it was melted all over breakfast and I was SO hungry that I wolfed it down not even thinking.... meh, camping does that to ya right? Gotta pack on those extra carbs to keep warm at night. After freezing (one cheek at a time) all night cuddled up with someone in a twin sized camper bed, I could have eaten anything! I didn't even drink ANY beer... which is amazing for me, really.
So today, back at work, it was SO freaking busy that I didn't even have time to think about food. My salad and grilled chicken breast was NOT what I wanted when it finally became lunch time. But I lovingly consumed my roughage and bird boob thinking to myself that it will all be worth it in the end :) When I returned from lunch, it had slowed down a bit, and in came the cravings. Oh those oh so cute, sweet, delicious, gelatin based globs of sugar shaped into little tiny gem colored bears were calling my name from isle 6. I walked back and forth from the back counter to the front, chewed my nails, drowned myself in yet more water and admitted my weakness to my co-worker. I found myself imagining the chewiness of just one bear, but one bear would lead to an army of bears in my belly. Then some kid asks me if I work in a Hospital.... totally threw off my train of thought. At that point I was wondering if children are now bred to be dumb? Seriously? The kid was like 14, I hope at that age he could read. Hell what do I know? I guess I should thank the kid because I amazingly won the battle! FC - 1 GB - 0

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Survey Says.......

So yesterday, when I was asked to join this contest at work, I was thinking of possible ways to lose weight. When it occurred to me that your peers always have the best advice, what works for them can work for you. No gimmicks, real people with real answers. So my bright idea was to text all my friends to ask them for any pointers they may have. Here are their answers in order as they responded:

Drink lots of water
Take lots of walks
Sex
Eat smaller portions more often
Drink lots of water
Watch salt in take
Exercise in the morning
Avoid Carbs
Avoid Sugar
Read up on Woman's Health and Muscle Magazines
Amphetamines
Lose your remote control to the TV
Put a candy bar on a stick and follow it around (yeah real assholes)
Sex
Avoid Milk
Don't eat anything after 5pm (which is when I get off work and when I'm STARVING)
Eat Smaller Portions
Exercise (um duh)
Starve yourself
South Beach Diet
Drink Lots of water
Take lots of walks
Avoid dairy
Lots of ex-lax.... (lose your weight by crapping all day!)
Drink Lots of water
Eat snacks throughout the day
Sex
Sex
Watch caloric intake
Take cinnamon capsules
Bike riding
Amphetamines
Sex
Ditch the potatoes, bread, beans, lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!

Ok, so what I get from my little survey is this....... While on amphetamines have lots of sex in water while walking. Sounds like a diet plan for me!

Thank you to everyone to participated in my little survey, I love you all so much!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

About Myself And My Crazy Decision

Hello there! Well here I go, on my way to be a blogger. Why have I decided to join the millions of other bloggers you ask? My answer is simple, I'm fat and I'm sick of being fat. The only person that can change the way I feel is myself. So, as of today I am starting my new diet plan and will be writing my thoughts down for the world to see my progress or the cake I decide to wallow in.
I am a 31 year old mother of a wonderful 12 year old son. I have been blaming my rolls on "baby fat" for the last 12 years, and I believe that excuse is no longer valid as of about 9 years ago. I work in a Pharmacy as a Technician and I love my job and most of the people I see from day to day. However, my Pharmacy isn't the busiest Pharmacy in the world and I have found myself sitting and reading in a chair for a better part of my day. I have a bad knee, really bad in fact. I have a torn ACL and torn meniscus that catches once in awhile and hurts so badly I almost pee. This too has been one of my many excuses on gaining the weight that I have and is why I sit down to read at work. Some days it is unbearable and I complain but usually I don't say anything because the last thing my co-workers want to hear is me bitch when we get constant people bitching all day long anyway. There are exercises that I could do, I suppose, that wouldn't bother my knee, but hey its a good excuse.
Again, I am 31 years OLD. My clock is ticking and no matter what everyone says, men don't like the fat girls! At least where I live in the armpit of Oregon. I want another kid and I really do want to be married again one day. So slimming down will most likely broaden my horizons. I don't care what you say or if you disagree, this is my reasoning and my blog and if you don't like it write your own blog.
I LOVE sugar! LOVE IT! I can eat an entire bag of gummi bears in one sitting, or most any bag of sugar in fact. My grandmother was a diabetic who also loved sugar.... she is dead.
I work in a grocery store, the grocery store has a bakery...... it is evil. All those pies, cakes, cookies, doughnuts, muffins, and breads of all kinds. It calls to me all day whispering sweet calories in my ear, telling me that it loves me, that it will do anything for me if I just take a bite, just one little bite..... A whole apple pie later, I am kicking myself in the ass because I believed what it said and now it will stick to my ass forever, yep it loves me alright.
I also LOVE beer. Oh the sweet sweet concoction of barley and hops and/or any other grain you would like to use to make this beautiful succulent drink of the gods. Unfortunately, to my expense, beer = calories and lots of them. Oh and I have to go and like the dark beers, the darker the better. I like my beer like I like my men..... thick and strong. Which, in turn, is even more calories. At this point of my diet, when I think of not drinking as much beer (not giving it up yet) I want to throw the entire idea of "diet" out the window of a truck going 90 on the highway. But I have to do it, I made a promise to myself that I can do this. It is only a few weeks to start, right?